5 Red Flags That You May Have an Unhealthy Relationship With Food — Plus, Tips for Improving It

You need nourishment to survive, so it makes sense that your relationship with food is important to your overall health and well-being.

Beyond providing us with fuel, food becomes part of our routines and our culture of human connection, says Evelyn Attia, MD, a professor of psychiatry who specializes in treating eating disorders at Columbia University Irving Medical Center in New York City. “There is general consensus that food should be consumed at intervals throughout the day — like meals and snacks — and should be met with comfortable, practical, and often joyful feelings,” she says.

But there’s a line between specific food routines and meal preferences and rigid rules or problematic perspectives about eating. Here’s what experts say constitutes an unhealthy relationship with food — and what you can do about it.

Eating behaviors and habits are often individualized. But there are several signs that might indicate your relationship with food isn’t healthy. “An unhealthy relationship with food may involve eating a lot less or a lot more than your body may require, feeling bad about yourself because of your eating, or making food choices that are strongly influenced by desires to maintain a certain body weight or body type,” Bodell says.

Here are some other red flags to watch for.

1. Negative Emotions Around Eating Eating is a routine, neutral, or positive experience for most people, Attia says. The occasional pang of guilt after an indulgent dessert may be nothing to worry about. But consistently being plagued by negative emotions such as undue worry, pressure, or anxiety around your food suggests that something about the eating experience has become problematic, she explains, adding that it could also indicate a precursor to an eating disorder (ED). In a 2025 pilot study, negative emotions like guilt and shame appear to be linked to the development of ED symptoms — and may influence the condition’s severity and how long a person is affected.

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2. Limiting or Restricting Food Intake Being mindful of your food intake to ensure you’re making nutritious choices is different from placing a critical focus on the food you eat, Bodell notes. “Spending a significant amount of time thinking about food or eating or tracking calories can lead to decreased quality of life and take time away from other important things we value, like personal relationships,” she says. For example, observational research in people with a binge eating disorder has shown that practicing mindful eating can reduce distressing food-related thinking — resulting in significant improvements in quality of life.

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3. Not Enjoying What You Eat Eating should be a neutral or enjoyable experience, Attia says. “Losing this sense of pleasure may indicate a medical issue that impacts appetite or a psychological issue such as depression that impacts the desire to eat,” she explains. Research supports the theory that diminished enjoyment of food is part of the disorder process, with at least one study finding that people with eating disorders experience significantly lower anticipatory pleasure from eating than people with healthy eating behaviors, which is linked to greater ED symptom severity, anxiety, and depression.

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4. Constantly Seeking New Diet Trends Attia says another sign of a healthy relationship with food is stable eating behaviors and weight without reliance on fad diets. “Choosing and trying the latest dietary recommendations described in a social media post or popular magazines is more likely to add to food preoccupation and may contribute to weight instability — ‘a yo-yo effect’ — and negative emotional experiences associated with food,” she explains. Research shows adolescents and young adults who follow restrictive diets are more likely to display signs of eating disorder attitudes or behaviors, suggesting that dieting could signal an elevated risk for developing an ED.

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5. Use of Exercise as a Post-Eating “Punishment“ While a pattern of compulsive or excessive exercise can develop on its own, some researchers suggest it can signal a dysfunctional relationship with food. For example, a longitudinal study of 4,054 adolescents found that those who exhibit problematic exercise behaviors — such as exercising while injured — also tend to have an unhealthy relationship with food. Researchers also found that these same teens were more likely to have symptoms of an eating disorder, such as fasting, bingeing, or purging, at age 16.

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    “When eating or related behaviors like exercise are causing distress or impairment, that is usually a sign that someone is struggling,” Bodell says.

Attia recommends starting with your primary healthcare provider to discuss next steps or referrals. “Many different types of clinicians can talk with patients about healthy eating, including therapists, dietitians, and physicians,” she says. From there, Attia notes, a provider will help determine whether more follow-up care is warranted.

Changing how you think about food, as well as changing how you eat, can help you improve your relationship with it, Bodell says, noting that it’s essential to be patient with yourself in the process. “Establishing a healthy relationship with food and one’s body image can be challenging in today’s society and will likely take time,” she adds.

Here are some expert-backed tips to consider.

• Think of food as your friend. “It’s important to recognize that food is not inherently good or bad, and we are not good or bad based on our food choices,” Bodell says.

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   To stop associating morality with food, try considering it a friend, Attia suggests. “It gives us our daily energy and often serves to connect us with family and others who want to share a meal and conversation with us,” she says.
• Recall and reframe positive food-related memories. Research suggests that memory plays a key role in human behavior, including in relation to food and eating.

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   “If you are having more difficulty with food, try to remember earlier experiences when eating with more flexibility felt fun and comfortable,” Attia says. Actions like calling a friend to reconnect over a memorable meal can also support a new, positive reframe around food, she adds.
• Check in with a loved one. Actively seeking support from those closest to you can help in improving your relationship with food.

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   To start, Attia suggests asking a friend or family member whether they’ve noticed a change in you during mealtimes. “Sometimes, the realization that your behavior has worried others offers a way to get started with changing behavior and taking better care of yourself,” she explains.
• Respond to hunger cues. Research suggests that responding to your body’s hunger and fullness cues — or intuitive eating — can help protect against disordered eating.

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   “Make food choices based on hunger and preferences — as opposed to making food choices based on body image,” Bodell says.
• Eat a variety of foods. Restricting certain foods can actually increase your desire for them — leading to cravings and potentially problematic behaviors. Intentionally making these “forbidden” foods and a variety of others a part of your diet may help reduce their appeal — a concept known as habituation.

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   “It’s important to allow yourself to eat food for pleasure in addition to fueling our bodies,” Bodell says. “When we deprive ourselves of something we enjoy — like certain foods — we do not usually feel good about ourselves.”

• While there’s no official definition of an unhealthy relationship with food, it can involve abnormal thoughts, patterns, or behaviors around eating — including not enjoying food, severely restricting meals, or always trying the latest diet trends.
• Tips to help cultivate a healthier relationship with food include viewing food as a friend rather than a foe, enjoying a wide variety of foods, and seeking support from loved ones.
• Experts recommend speaking with a healthcare provider if you notice intense thoughts or feelings around food and eating that are interfering with your everyday life.