5 Doctor-Recommended Tips to Ease Painful Sex After Menopause
Women's HealthMenopause

5 Ways to Make Sex After Menopause Less Painful and More Pleasurable

5 Ways to Make Sex After Menopause Less Painful and More Pleasurable
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Updated on March 10, 2026
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5 Tips for Better Sex After Menopause

Menopause doesn't mean the end of a satisfying sex life. Learn some ways to help you navigate this change.

The path to menopause is paved with a number of inconvenient symptoms, including hot flashes, mood swings, insomnia, and more. And after you’ve officially made the transition into menopause, not all of those symptoms fully subside. One example? Painful sex. But, plenty of strategies exist to help ease discomfort and support a healthy sex life.

What’s the Link Between Painful Sex and Menopause?

During menopause, your body loses estrogen, a hormone that helps keep the vaginal tissues healthy, says Mary Jane Minkin, MD, a clinical professor of obstetrics, gynecology, and reproductive sciences at the Yale University School of Medicine, in New Haven, Connecticut. When your estrogen levels decline, you can also experience vaginal dryness, which can lead to painful sex.

Vaginal dryness and soreness or burning during penetration “often occur further out from menopause,” says Dr. Minkin. “Whereas a woman may experience hot flashes that get better, vaginal dryness tends to get worse over the years.”

Left untreated, the problem can become so severe that some women give up intercourse entirely because it’s too dry and uncomfortable to be pleasurable. Compounding the confusion, says Minkin, is that “since it occurs later, many women don’t associate this with menopause at all. They think dryness is inevitable with aging.”

5 Tips for Easing Painful Sex After Menopause

The good news is that there are many things you can do to improve vaginal lubrication, reduce pain, and make sex feel good again. Here are five options to try:

1. Get a Vaginal Moisturizer

Polycarbophil gel, which is available over the counter, is a good first remedy, says Minkin. The product works mainly by adding water to the tissues, she says, and because it’s applied two or three times per week, you don’t have to remember to use it every time you’re intimate. The gel can be applied with an applicator into the vagina. Research supports the idea that polycarbophil gel can reduce symptoms of vaginal atrophy in postmenopausal women, including pain during sex.

You can also apply some vaginal moisturizers externally. The labia can become dry too, explains Minkin, which can make intercourse uncomfortable.

2. Try a Lubricant During Sex

Intimacy can be even better if you combine polycarbophil gel with a lubricant during sex, says Minkin. There are plenty of lubricants available on the market, and finding the right one can take some trial and error.

“I tell patients not to go out and buy the giant, economy size bottle until you know it will agree with you,” says Minkin. Many contain fragrances, which can irritate sensitive vaginal and vulval tissues. Also, if you’re using condoms to protect against sexually transmitted infections, be aware that an oil-based lubricant can degrade the latex; in that case, choose a water-based or silicone lubricant.

3. Get Into Foreplay

A quickie might not work for you anymore — but that doesn’t mean sex is off the table. Rather, dedicate more attention to your warm-up routine. “The more foreplay, the better, whether you’re pre- or postmenopausal,” says Minkin. “It gets the [vaginal] tissue revved up.”

Similarly, it may also help revamp your definition of sex. If intercourse is painful because of dryness, you might find that oral sex (which, yes, is still sex) is more pleasurable and allows you to be intimate with your partner.

4. Try a Toy

One word: vibrator. “I’m a big fan of recommending vibrators to my patients,” says Minkin. “Anything that will increase pelvic blood flow will increase moisture to the vagina.”

There are many styles and functions of vibrators on the market, from base models with only a few different intensities to those with multiple speeds, patterns, and extra features. Check out our guide to the best sex toys to start your journey of identifying which works best for you.

5. Ask About Medication

For some women, all it takes to relieve dryness is a good vaginal moisturizer. Others might need a prescription. If that’s the case for you, talk to your doctor about vaginal estrogen, which Minkin specifies as “quite safe” for almost everyone to use.

Vaginal estrogens work by increasing moisture to the tissue via vaginal suppositories, rings, or creams, based on personal preference, she says.

A vaginal suppository with the hormone DHEA, which is converted into estrogen and testosterone, may be another Rx option for you, she says. One study found that women using DHEA suppositories reported an improvement in vaginal dryness and pain during sex, compared with those who used a placebo. However, newer and broader research is needed to confirm the effectiveness of DHEA for treating dryness and pain.

Finally, ospemifene tablets are a once-daily nonhormonal prescription medication that treats both vaginal dryness and painful intercourse due to menopause by increasing certain cells (and decreasing others) in the vaginal tissue.

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Other Causes of Painful Sex During Menopause

Keep in mind that pain during sex can have other causes beyond vaginal dryness, such as a vaginal infection. It can also be a symptom of ovarian cancer (as can bloating, pelvic or abdominal pain, and feeling the urge to urinate more often) or vulvodynia, a chronic pain condition.

The bottom line: Be up front with your doctor about your discomfort. A good sex life is one part of being in good health.

The Takeaway

  • During and after menopause, your body loses estrogen. This leads to vaginal dryness, which can, in turn, make for painful sex.
  • Vaginal moisturizers, lubricants, and medications can all help reduce vaginal dryness and pain during sex. Foreplay and sex toys are also helpful ways to reduce sex-related pain and increase pleasure in postmenopausal women.
EDITORIAL SOURCES
Everyday Health follows strict sourcing guidelines to ensure the accuracy of its content, outlined in our editorial policy. We use only trustworthy sources, including peer-reviewed studies, board-certified medical experts, patients with lived experience, and information from top institutions.
Resources
  1. Sex and Menopause: Treatment for Symptoms. National Institute on Aging. September 30, 2021.
  2. Cagnacci A et al. Short and long-term effect of polycarbophil vaginal gel on vaginal atrophy of peri- and post-menopausal women. The TRIPLE study. European Journal of Obstetrics & Gynecology and Reproductive Biology. August 2024.
  3. Labrie F et al. Efficacy of intravaginal dehydroepiandrosterone (DHEA) on moderate to severe dyspareunia and vaginal dryness, symptoms of vulvovaginal atrophy, and of the genitourinary syndrome of menopause. Menopause. March 2016.
  4. Ospemifene (oral route). Mayo Clinic. February 1, 2026.
  5. Signs and Symptoms of Ovarian Cancer. American Cancer Society. August 8, 2025.
  6. Vulvodynia. Mayo Clinic. September 1, 2023.
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Kara Smythe, MD

Medical Reviewer

Kara Smythe, MD, has been working in sexual and reproductive health for over 10 years. Dr. Smythe is a board-certified fellow of the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists, and her interests include improving maternal health, ensuring access to contraception, and promoting sexual health.

She graduated magna cum laude from Florida International University with a bachelor's degree in biology and earned her medical degree from St. George’s University in Grenada. She completed her residency in obstetrics and gynecology at the SUNY Downstate Medical Center in Brooklyn, New York. She worked in Maine for six years, where she had the privilege of caring for an underserved population.

Smythe is also passionate about the ways that public health policies shape individual health outcomes. She has a master’s degree in population health from University College London and recently completed a social science research methods master's degree at Cardiff University. She is currently working on her PhD in medical sociology. Her research examines people's experiences of accessing, using, and discontinuing long-acting reversible contraception.

When she’s not working, Smythe enjoys dancing, photography, and spending time with her family and her cat, Finnegan.

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Jessica Migala

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Jessica Migala is a freelance writer with over 15 years of experience, specializing in health, nutrition, fitness, and beauty. She has written extensively about vision care, diabetes, dermatology, gastrointestinal health, cardiovascular health, cancer, pregnancy, and gynecology. She was previously an assistant editor at Prevention where she wrote monthly science-based beauty news items and feature stories.

She has contributed to more than 40 print and digital publications, including Cosmopolitan, O:The Oprah Magazine, Real Simple, Woman’s Day, Women’s Health, Fitness, Family Circle, Health, Prevention, Self, VICE, and more. Migala lives in the Chicago suburbs with her husband, two young boys, rescue beagle, and 15 fish. When not reporting, she likes running, bike rides, and a glass of wine (in moderation, of course).

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